Devotional base on Luke 6:27-29

We know how to deal with haters that tend to just pick at every little thing in our lives sometimes just complain about us breathing. What about when it becomes our companion, our homies, that we allowed to be close in our lives, that we trusted with everything in our lives, the secrets of our lives. What happens when they hurt us? When we want to go far away to  escape the pain but we can't. When their negative words are the only thing that we remember at night that could bring us to a point that sometimes we rather are alive.  When we can’t handle it anymore and finally confess in our mind, “I don’t need any more of this stuff because I can’t even love myself.” Then add the pains that our friends cause on us are stays and haunts us in our next relationships. That would be causing us to put walls to not allow us to trust others. Do we want to live life like that?

my youth pastor uses to tell us in youth group that we have to pray for those who hate us. I asked him why??? He said because you can’t hate for those who pray for and ask God to forgive them for what they have done. We saw it before when Jesus was upon the cross, when he said, “lord forgive them what they have done and they don’t know what they are doing.” Do you think honestly that our friends know that they are hurting us until all the cruel words come out and if they do? Does it really matter? We have to forgive them and love them. We can do all by prayer and by prayer alone for God to help us be uncomfortable and bring people in our lives that could help us to take us in uncharted land.  I know this is will deficit, but I know that God will listen to your prayer even when it comes to moments in our lives that all we can basically scream help!!”

Let’s step back and thank about how the world where we as a church can be transparent with each other because we are loving each other. Where somebody has been bullying you, maybe raped you, cause some big big damage in your life enters through those doors because God answered our prayers for them in our lives. Think about this…. Where we can allow our selves and other be open books because we took down that wall that stopped us from trusting other. Where basically we are free to live life without holding back to anybody and even ourselves. We have to forgive those who hurt us.

Luke 6:27-29

But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29"Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either

I'm just going to wear my emotions as my sleeves

There comes a day when our lives fall apart that starts with a phone call. I feel like i am in a car full of emotions that jumped off a cliff that is heading to rock bottom . Barely surviving cause momentum hasn't yet over token gravity. At this moment, in the failing car I am in a prison of fear, scared of getting more hurt. Last tuesday i feel like i been shot with a shotgun in the heart that open those countless open wounds that bleed for the last couple years. Any second now, i could become heartless from the lack of blood and love. That I feel like I gotta put on this mask cause I could bearly hold a smile for a second. But only if, people paused and look in my eyes, they would see that my soul is grieving from everything that's going on. They would see stains of tears that has been flooding my pillow at night. In this prisión cell, I gotta deal with myself. In the past couple days, I don't even know myself. I feel my heart hardening and turn callused of this ever lasting cycle of pain. It's killing me inside, that I am seeing this creeping up on me. Im constantly fighting against this depression from coming back, to be honest it's creeping. Depression has turned my familia to a cemetery full of my former homies. Im done feeling this way.God I'm calling out for you, hold me with your arms full out of love. Be that refuge that has always been there every day since I dyed to myself. Please I beg hear the cries for the desperation of a suffering and broken servant and son. Please catch this falling car before I hit rock bottom. Lord, If you dont, I hope I wake up seeing your arms wide open . Where I won't feel no more pain, tears, morning but rather be in your presence.

My Speech on Technology

            Albert Einstein said, “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.” First, I believe that technology has reduced the possibility of being present in the moment. Secondly, we have allowed technology to take away the ability to feel like a human. Thirdly, the fear of self relfection and control opens the door  for technology to take over our lives.   Lastly, we can do practical things to solve this issue.

            Are we ever present? We are in a tug of war with time. Currently, right now are you thinking about the mistakes that you have made? A former conversation? At the same time, are you thinking about your next class? About lunch? So are we ever present at this moment? A spoken word artist, Propaganda, in his spoken word piece called, Be Present, said, “He told me a love story of a woman born before him. He said I knew her before and at the moment of conception. There was an eternal connection. And although I didn't know it then, I'd fight for her affection. It’s this war we’ve been waging since day one of creation. And only when you lose her do you learn to appreciate her, like even when I’m with her, I’m itching to get rid of her. And she only gives you one shot, blow it and she's gone. ” Life is all about moments, no one In history has been able to hold on to one. And you never get it back…see…there it goes. It’s silly for us to think that we can capture a moment with our phones while that moment is slowly disappearing. Even worse, too many of us are so busy looking down at our phones that we are missing our moment. We are missing the beauty of the awkward moments of silence in the middle of a conversation. At that moment, we start thinking of past conversations, the silly moments in our lives, or obvious comments.

            Prince EA, another respected spoken word artist, said, “While we may have big friend lists, so many of us are friendless. All alone. Cause friendships are more broken than the screens on our very phones. We sit at home on our computer screens measuring self-worth by numbers of followers and likes while ignoring those who actually loves us.” Slowly, we are closing the doors to our hearts. We go into this world of technology, to escape the heart from reality. We would rather send a message on Facebook or through text to escape any conversation face to face. Sometimes I question, “Have we forgot how it feels to have eye contact with a loved one?” We are losing a sense to coexist but rather advertise, I mean, Instigram, ourselves to people who like our selfies or whatever we are doing. For example, how many people pull out their phones when they see a homeless person? Isn’t that a battle cry that we lost our fight to keep our humanity!

            Sherry Turkle, a sociologist said, “Across the generation, I see that people can’t get enough of each other if and only if they can have each other at a distance in amounts they can control.” She called it the Goldie lock effect, not too close, not too far, just right.” Technology has reached a point that it is eliminating our ability to have a conversation with a person. One of my friends back home told me, “Someday, someday but certainly not now, I would like to learn how to have a conversation. Conversation with others effects how we conversation with ourselves. Has technology effected your ability to self-reflect” that’s on you to figure out.

            Is life all about a box made of plastic, wires and glass? If somebody looked into our lives, they would see that our phones could be the most important thing in our lives. While 84 percent of cell phone owners could not go a single day without using their phones.  In the midst of checking our phones 150 times a day, having hundreds and hundreds of Facebook friends and still feel like there is no one to rely on, no one who knows who you really are. It’s sad that 40 percent of Americans feel lonely in this type of way. I think that we need to leave the phones and go out and talk to people. Finally, to remember what it means to be with somebody face to face. To discover what it means to cherish the people who are here. To restart our creativity, to make up silly games with our imagination and hear the precious laugh of a child.

What does Cesar Chavez have to do with Chicago?

Robert Kennedy said, “Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total; of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.” Honestly speaking, I noticed that I don’t give history the importance that I should in my life. History has shaped my life, my family life with the pains of injustices, the sadness of tragedies, the hope from achievements and beauty of people lives. Today, I watched a movie that represent Cesar Chavez life, when he fought for the rights from farmworkers.  While I was watching the movie, I was looking up the quotes that he said. There is a couple quotes that encouraged me to how keep on pushing on with my dream of a revival in Chicago, where the church is ran by ex-gang members and ex-convicts, whose lives were transformed by Christ. Seeing the whites and hispanics and blacks come together. I know that it is not possible for a person to make this possible. I know that God would need to push the revival forward if it’s His will. As Robert Kennedy talks all the little events, all the people changing the community around them, that could change the outcome of the current generation and even more the future generations that are to come.

Cesar Chavez said, “It is possible to become discouraged about the injustice we see everywhere. But God did not promise us that the world would be humane and just. He gives us the gift of life and allows us to choose the way we will use our limited time on earth. It is an awesome opportunity.” In my daily frustration of kids dreams crushed before they are teenagers, where the systems are against the minorities, youths thinking that they have to go in the streets to survive, seeing moms weeping over losing their little babies due to gang violence, and people just standing there because they don’t think that they can make a difference. I end up screaming on top of my lungs THIS ISNT FAR!! WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE THIS WAY? I need to step back and ask myself why I am surprised? When in John 16:33 it says, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” It is warning me that life will honestly suck sometimes. When we see things go through our lives and things that put us down but I have to trust on him but the beautiful thing is that we are still living meaning, we still got precious time to change the world around us. We all have time to impact the kids lives and actually believe in them. We can stand up for the oppress. The most beautiful thing is that we have time to open our hands and allow God to take over our lives and see where he takes us even though it would be hard. (fair warning)

Cesar Chavez said, “The fight is never about grapes or lettuce. It is always about people.” I know you are asking yourself what does lettuce and grapes have to do with Chicago? We can’t even grow them here. In Chicago, we see people always having people having a rally against gang violence, having equal education for everybody, social justice, immigration reformation. We easily like putting stereotype on people for who fight for those things. To be honest, we aren’t only fighting for these things but it’s about the people who are facing these struggles. We are shoulder to shoulder with the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, nephews, and friend being in one big familia picking each other up when we fall, giving our shoulder when somebody loses a love one but importantly we are here for the people. As he continued, "We can choose to use our lives for others to bring about a better and more just world for our children. People who make that choice will know hardship and sacrifice. But if you give yourself totally to the non-violence struggle for peace and justice you also find that people give you their hearts and you will never go hungry and never be alone. And in giving of yourself you will discover a whole new life full of meaning and love."

Cesar Chavez and Dolorez Huerta, came up with “Sí, se puede” during Cesar 25 day fast to protest the violence being used against the striking farmworkers and to draw attention to their struggle. It’s a reminder, as a body of Christ we can bring a revival in Chicago only through Christ. We as a body of Christ, we can believe in these kids and help them fight in the challenges that they face in their lives and knowing that they aren’t alone. As a body of Christ, we can become a voice for the oppressed and voiceless.  Yes as a body of Christ, we can make a difference in the streets that instead of kids join the gangs looking for a family. Instead, they can join our familia that would unconditionally love them.

There is no better ending than, “SI SE PUEDE.

The Wisdom from a Lyft Driver

The Wisdom from a Lyft Driver

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “A single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years mere study of books.” Except tonight conversation dealt with a Lyft driver that in the midst of a divorce and has two kids three and seven. Her name is Liz, she started to talk about her children and she sacrifices her sleep, her food, her wants of getting $20 dollars shoes (I know mothers can testify to this) for her two little boys. I feel like this forty minute conversation, could’ve given me the spark to keep on fighting.

            The first thing that I am going to take away from her is that life is full of sections. Life sucks a lot but we have to enjoy the seasons of life we are in because we will have this precious time back. She said, “That too many youths are trying to grow so quickly that in a couple years, these youth will end up regretting wasting those years.” She pointed to me and said, “please enjoy your youth, I heard about the struggles you faced with your parents and life overall but don’t let that destroy your young adult life. I know, you want to be a youth pastor in the city but enjoy your time in school and this period of life. Also, don’t lose that smile and laugh because the older you get, life smacks you right in the face and with that your smile and laugh is gone.” I really needed to hear that because lately I feel like my smile, laugh, playful, enjoying life personality has been slowly disappearing because of things I saw and see in the street, the systems, basically life knocking me down and not wanting to get up.

            The second thing advice. she told me is that you can have the whole world behind you believing in you but the way things in life will change is when you finally believe in yourself. Like I was saying, that a lot of our dreams can be like becoming the president, police officer, pastor, best janitor, best parent, and whatever you want to add to the list. The only way to accomplish our dreams when we are surrounded by horrible circumstances is by believing in ourselves. So she told me, “I believe that you can become an amazing youth pastor, the only way you could do this is by believing in God and believing in yourself. Also know that you could be an amazing father like you want to be by being a positive father figure to the kids now and already learning to sacrifice.” I feel like I been lacking in school but not too much is because I let the problems in Chicago get in the way of me believing in myself and God that I could make a difference in a hurting Chicago.

The third and most important thing about the conversation, she said, “By hearing you talk about your vision and about how God has changed your life. I am going to go to a Christian church.” This made me super happy that God answered my prayer for being able to use my mouth to speak to others. When I was having a conversation with her, honestly it wasn’t my word but instead it was His words and Him keeping the conversation going. She said, “She will expect to see me at New Life Humboldt Park in two weeks.  Please pray that God will speak to her and use this conversation for his glory.

I felt like learn 10 years of life lessons in a 40 minute car ride.

My Crushed Dreams But Not Abandoned

All of us harvest this…it comes in all shapes and forms but at the same time its unseen. We all have this ability to be freed to thrive in our dreams or to kill our dreams. It’s crazy to think about, when we were little, we dream to become an astronaut that would go to different planets, a scientist, a vet, a 3 foot tall NBA player, and if we were honest some were to take over the world. Then the older we got it seems like reality hits home and we conform to barely making it by. At the same time, we say that we want to follow our dreams but we don’t want it bad. We kind of just want it. You don’t want it as much as partying, not as much as being cool and not as much as sleep. Some of us love sleep as much as our dreams. As my youth pastor told me, “Life is all about sacrificing.” Still living through life, we see flashbacks of our dreams, which we had when we were younger, but we are not willing to risk because we believe that it’s too late for me, I got kids, I got debt, it’s hard and it’s going to hurt. When it seems like we take a step forward, we get punched right in face. We all get knocked out and the main question is “What are you going to do? Are you going to stay down or get up and keep swinging like our lives are in stake?

To be honest with you, I got punched in my heart multiple times by reality that crushed my dreams. My dreams is that there will be a revival in Chicago, seeing the church ran by ex-gang members and ex-convicts transformed by Christ. Seeing the white and Hispanic and black come together. I knew this dream is going to hurt and almost impossible and wear me out. It has been a wakeup call seeing the systems from society that keep minorities down. The church is not working together in Chicago to communicate and work with each other. It is sad to see that the black, Asian, Hispanic and white church just can’t get along. Bruhh…we are all familia…it just got my heart breaking. I talked to several pastor in the south side and west side and the response I got is that in their career in ministry the churches in the  white north side has made no effort to communicate to the churches in the minority south and west side. It keeps me up in night that some churches are willing to sacrifice outreaches because they are scared of the city kids. I was involved in the Latin kings four years ago, my home church is the only reason that I am still a Christian and go to Moody Bible Institute because my church was my familia. They helped me through the horrible times and actually believe in me. When we are closing our doors to these kids then we are not believe in God power that can transformation city kids into revival leaders. To be honest, I think that I am living in fear of the challenge. I see myself as David but without a slingshot but basically laying down and waving my white flag in surrender. In the Fable of the lion and the gazelle, “Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.” At the current state, I am the gazelle running away from the Lion (doubt, fear, pain). I need something that would cause me to become the Lion that runs towards my dreams. I need to be the Lion that needs to be hungry towards God dreams, which he put in my heart, and keep running and not being content for anything less. I want to be hungry not for my selfishness rather for the gang members, prostitutes, current youth and the future youth.

March Update Letter

Life update:

I want to start to say thank you for supporting me for the past couple years and being there every step of the way in the midst of the messiness. I am so thankful for this experience of trying to raise support to go to college because it opened my eyes to how many people are always praying for me and supportive in my walk and actually believe in me, that God would do amazing things in my life. This month has been amazing because I been allowing God do whatever you wants in my life with hands wide open.

I had the privilege of hearing people stories and life struggles. It has open my eyes to see people struggles and strength and understand where they are coming from. I been able to hear the stories from the other students in this school and a lot of the youth that are involved in the open gym that I run with some of the guys from school.

It has been difficult for me to settle down and focus on my studies. While at the same time, I want to walk life with the guys in the open gym. A lot of the guys come from the same background. They come from broken homes, where their dad doesn’t play a role in their life, never had somebody in their lives to point them to the right direction and invest love in them. It reminds me, that I was in the same shoes less than 4 years ago until I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior and the church became family to me.

In my class for Race, Poverty and Social injustice has thought me to much how to deal with the current struggles that minorities face in a daily process like racial comments, being intimating by skin color (I don’t understand), being a minority in a school that is mostly white.

In that class, today I meet a guy named Juan Prez, the founder that created a ministry that focuses on taking people out of poverty and make sure they never return to that state. I was able to have dinner with him and he offered me a 9 week internship that would give me $1,500 and would cover cost expenses and food. I told him to sent me more information and to give some time to pray about the opportunity.

Finical update:

Currently, I owe $11,354 in my student loan that I took to come to Moody. I am not worried because God has and will provide for all my needs.  I am applying at a couple places trying to pay back my loan as soon as possible. During spring break, I will be working as a delivery driver and try to pick up some jobs here and there. Also applying at other jobs.

Prayer request::

For God to keep me on working me and teaching about sacrifice by living for him and not for myself anymore.

To keep on softening my hearts towards my dad and for God to heal the scars that he has made on my heart.

For me to find a Job

To help me become that man that God wants me to be instead of what people want me to be.

In the midst of the good and bad times to trust on God and find my peace only through him

Mary-she has some health issues that God would heal her and feeling like He is comforting her.

For what God wants me to do in life

For God to keep developing relationships with people that are same and different from me

Daily Blog:

http://honestlyithappenstoallofus.blogspot.com/

Where to donate if wanted:

            http://www.gofundme.com/j8iu04

 

Is our education system the best way to education the youth?

Our system of education system is formed as a factory. We are learned that there is only one right way to answer a question and only right way of learning. For example, I worked a factory for two months and in my time I only had to make holes into a metal plate and do that for 8 hours. But what does that do with educations? I felt like a mindless robot just regurgitating ideas and instructions and the truth is that children’s feel like hopeless mindless robots just regurgitating information into paper without using critical thinking.  In our system, as no child life behind, we measure students by grades and test scores. So in the fears of teachers losing their jobs, the teachers only teach about what is going to be on the standardizing test like the ACT and SAT. That took away the privilege of asking questions that the child was curious about. That made a current education into if we repeat what the teachers said then I will pass the test. After years of being in this education, the child creativity slowly and surely fades away. As Propaganda, a spoken word artist, said, “My child is not a widget. And a school should not be an assembly line. Making my daughter’s diploma equivalent to an inspected by 2235 stamp. Dear Bored of Education, there not a scantron on the planet that can measure inspiration.” It made me wonder what happened to teachers teaching children how to live life? What happened to where teaching life lessons is less important than educating kids? Could it be that more kids have ADHD because while all the situations in our minds like life struggles, culture, heritage is more meaningful than being drown by the information they are learning in life?

In this current system philosophy is “there are only two main group of people: academic (smart people) and non-academic. (Non-smart people) In a sense saying people who are made for school and not made for school by making a big division between the two. It sad to think that smart people believe that they are dumb because they don’t want to close their mind to a narrow sense of thinking. The damage of regurgitating information is making creativity disappear. In the sense children start losing hope in their lives and start shutting down focus in their lives and feel like zombies. This connection may be wrong but I feel like the lack to focus that is cause by this system could contribute with the problem of youth of being present, in the moment. The reason is that this system isn’t letting youth to become of who they want to be but rather who the system made them to be. Let me explain, in this current system, the people who are “academic” have more opportunities to do what they want in life and the “non-academic” only hope is to work at warehouse or factory or any job that doesn’t depend in a lot of thinking and usage of the mind. You are probably thinking, “give me an example?” Alright, it will be my honor. In my former high school, Fenton High school, around half of the students fit into the profile of no child left behind or a million children left behind...which ever you want to call it. Which basically ranked the student in what they know and ranked the school on their education “progress.” Well the students who were not in child left behind were offered AP classes and made it big universities. I am happy for them, don’t get me wrong. For the students who were in no child left behind, which was half of the school, basically were passed by to help the school graduation rate and school GPA are now working at labor jobs or fast food. We were never expected or prepared to follow any education after graduating high school.

What is the problem with just regulating information? The truth is that in life we cannot answer every situation like as easy as 1+1=2 but we will need to be able to think of different solutions and interpret solutions. We expect that we need to have the right answer but the truth is that when we go six feet deep we won’t have a letter grade in how we did in life but rather the impact we had in our world. These children won’t have the freedom of thinking outside the box because they aren’t thought to critical thinking. For example, in biblical time when a rabbi (teacher) asked questions. The student critical thought about the question and responded by a question. In a sense that showed that they wanted to dig deeper into the question but now a day teachers are satisfied with single yes or no answers or a short answer without having the student to dig deeper into the question that the teacher is asking. We need to reach a point that would give the freedom to the students to feel confident and do something with their talent and skills.

How do the minority feel about the system of education? We honestly believe and feel like we are left behind. The future we go through education we learn that our history classes and reading is bias in the sense that it shows the European and “white” as the best. I am a sophomore in college and I have never read a book from a Hispanic Author and never learned about my heritage background that sometime make me wonder, “Is my people history good enough to make it in the textbooks or lectures?” Denice Frohman, spoken word artist, said it best, “the quickest way to silent a mouth is to treat it as none has come before.”

The truth about the no child left behind is that it has effected minorities more negatively than positively. The government did “accomplish” their goal of a higher graduation rate but in the consequence of the percentage of students going to college and crushed their dreams. Denice Frohman, spoken word artist used this illustration. She went into auditorium and asked “who has dreams?” eleven students raised their hands barely above their shoulders as if they were sitting in history class unsure of the right answer. One student in the first row named Luciano is waiting for me to tell him what page to turn to. Another student in the eighth roll is trying to decide if this is a trick question. There is no right answer I say but they are too comfortable with the right to remain silent.” The truth is that a lot of students are frustrating so they act out but they only get kicked out of school. All they hear from the teachers and non-facial expression from students is that they are failures. To a point, the student just deal with it and end their dreams to become scientist, police officers, a president but rather conform to what the system set them up to be.

A Letter to Ladies

Lately, i been lately been having a lot of conversation of how woman should be treated and specifically as a male interact with a female. To start off, It always breaks my heart when guys try to treat you like toys. Be patient, its not worth having your heart broken by a guy that wont be willing to wait for you. We as Guys we need to earn your trust, shelter your purity, honor your modesty, cherish your honesty. If you don't see guys doing that then they aren't worth your time if they aren't putting in the effort. Also, understand that we as guys are going to make alot of stupid mistakes, probably going to forget about a lot of those things and please forgive us for our shortcoming, if it doesn't damage your purity.The truth is you don’t have to be a size zero to be beautiful. You are beautiful the way you are. You don’t have to put on that mask I mean makeup that tries to cover your true beauty. I honestly believe that true beauty comes from the inside and outside. Ladies you're like a diamond. In the sense, all the pressures and hardships that faced in your life like the pains from guys treating you wrong, not being treated right because you are a female, being sexual harasses, seen as weak and all the tears that came down your cheeks, made you become the women that you are right now. When i am imagine God speaking to his daughters, i imagine him saying, "I fearfully and wonderfully made you. I has a plan for you before you were born. I know that this journey is going to be hard and you may try to walk away from me. But I will never leave you. when life is hard, my arms will be overstretch for you and all you have to do is to hold on because I will guide you and I will be your solid rock and fortress that you can always rely on. You are my precious daughter and my princess and you worth dying for. I cant wait to call you my faithful servant so I don’t have to see you suffer any more in this life. When you come back home I will wipe every tear from your eyes."

In the past couple months, while hearing ladies stories of hardships they faced and also their life stories. I stop and think to myself, "i see a living Ruth,ester, Mary and Martha in front me because of how God is working in their lives and seeing the faithfulness to following God's will in their lives."

Please don't allow guys disrespect you. You are beautiful no matter what they say, no words could bring you down. But they do, they break you in the inside and slowly killing you in the inside because those words would give you a false reflection of yourself.

Man promise by Zach Cobos

For all the women of the world today, I'd like to share some words.

And so you know I'm not a fraud I'll say I promise of their worth.

I Promise.

We as males are honored to serve next to you.

You make us better men.

So now we make this vow anew, to bless you until the end.

Of this small poem yes but more than that.

For this time is small and my dream is fat.

My prayers that you'd take more from us.

That we'd be more than "sweet boys that didn't lust."

Wow. Big Deal. That is real but we want to help heal the hurts that you feel.

Which you have received from the men who were fleas and caused that disease.

The thought brings me to my knees.

God please!

Help us to be the release.

For you are worth so much more than the world offers

Or the sins of the fathers who have wounded their daughters

To make you think you must be hotter or fodder a spirit that forces you to believe

you are "not enough," "must be better," or "unworthy in our Father's eyes."

Well those are lies!

That he despises and so I won't hide the truth from you any longer.

So here goes, we're about to rid you of those past woes

So please listen to the words my Father chose to call you by.

You are beautiful.

And you know I'm not just talkin about the clothes you wear

or the style of your hair or the makeup you put on to cover that face so bare

but something so much more sincere.

You know, I could swear that you still fear the things you hear 

from the men who are too scared to love and care for the

perfect and gorgeous woman that God has made you to appear.

You are beautiful.

Believe me, no believe God when I say this is the truest thing you will ever receive.

You are strong!

Man, I could sing that song all day long if it would right the wrongs

that society has shouted at the top of it's deceitful lungs.

You are strong.

Or do you think Mary was weak?

No, God chose that blessed virgin because she leaked the Holy Spirit

from the peak of her head all down to her feet.

That's what you should seek.

You are strong.

Now listen, truly listen to this next message I have to bring.

You are worth everything.

I'll say it again. Ya know what, no, maybe I'll just sing.

You are worth everything.

That means that you deserve, no, you have the right

to invite all of God's light into your life and if any man should fight that

or use his words like a knife well that plight is more sinful

than the darkest of night.

No, our words as men should ignite your hearts, make them bright,

cause your souls to take flight, bring you to heights above the frightened mights

of this world that bite you and cause you strife.

What a sight that would be, right?

Even as a joke those words can poke holes in your soul

and invoke those feelings of being less than whole.

So don't tolerate it, it's already too late.

Stop waiting and start creating a standard for yourself

Write this down, hang it on a lanyard around yourself

Instead of leaving it dusty on the shelf it has been on for so long.

You are worthy to be served.

So don't you swerve from that service which you deserve.

Hide your pride and decided against the idea that you can

provide solely for yourself and don't need anyone else to confide in.

Whoever told ya that one, lied.

You are worthy to be served.

If you do not find a man who uses his own hands to bring about

a greater plan for your life, well, ya might as well be sifting sand.

We as men have learned that in order to earn your love we must

yearn for our Jesus and discern how we can bring about your glory.

We don't need a ring to share in your story.

We are your brothers.

And we love you. Dearly.

We hope you never weary of our servitude

and we pray you never stop calling us to be greater men.

With the end of this message I wish to send I beg that you

never pretend to be anyone other than who you were mean to be.

Amen.

The Blessing and Curses of Having a Accent

Sometimes i hate that i have a accent when i speak. Where everybody notices that my parents are not "american". Where everybody ask me "where i am from?" i say "Here." What do you mean by here?" I respond , "here in Chicago." Then with a confused look in their face they say, "where are your parents from?" I say, " Mexico and Colombia." This conversation happens daily and sometimes its annoy. When i speak, everybody would be making fun of how i speak, laugh when i cant pronounce all the words right, when i struggle that a concrete English cant contain my creativity. Where sometimes, my tongue is a stubborn dancer. To be honest, I know that my accent is a blessing. It shows me that i am uniquely made because my parents are from another country but also i am specifically created by God. I know that my accent is a stubborn compass pointing to where my family is from.Its beautiful, how a stranger is like family when we have the same accent. Every time i speak it reminds me that i am proud that i am half Mexican and half Colombian. I am proud that Spanish is my mother tongue. In the past, after being fun for having a accent and speaking different. But no more, i am not going to stop sharing my ideas and what i got to say because i don't want to be a prisoner of words unsaid. I don't want to stop sharing words that could encouraging somebody to keep fighting this fight called life. I am not going to stop asking question to dig deeper into somebody life that allows me to step in their lives for a moment.

Speech on Chicago Gang Violence

A lot of students look out the window and look into the city and think that its beautiful. When I end up looking outside…I see a city full of pain, regrets, revenge, envy and injustice. When I talk about Chicago, I don’t talk about the suburbs I mean downtown but instead including the south and the west side. Where the gang violence has destroyed the lives of brothers, sisters, mother and fathers. In a cycle that never seems to end. I am here to inform you of three things: the amount of violence, what is causing the violence and what can we do about it.

Is the violence in chicago bad at all? Let me show you, In 2014, there was 2, 589 shootings in Chicago.  83% of those shootings had gang afflictions. 456 people died from the shootings. The youth in Chicago nicknamed the city Chiraq because there was twice the amount of people killed in the streets then in Iraq in 2012.

Half of you are guy don’t care and half of you guys are asking what is causing the violence.

This problem has been developing when the city took away the projects from low income families. For example, In 2000, the city took away Cabrini green, housed 15,000 people and turned it into high rises. A lot of the gangs were located in this place and destroying these building giving these people section 8 and basically sent them out into the ghettos. The city took away the systems that the gangs had and is making them run wild in the ghettos by killing each other’s. The problem is getting worse when the “new Chicago” plan is closings schools, closing projects, closing homes to turn into more high rises and business  which is forcing families out into the hood. In this environment, where the fathers are the best at playing hide and go seek but never coming out to play in their child life, where finding a positive male figure is harder than to finding  waldo, where any second  a flying bullet could be screaming your name. The youth aren’t really thinking about the future because they are in the survival mindset and only trying to make it through the day without being six feet deep. A lot of the youth explain it by saying “it’s a war out here and we’re fighting to live.”  It is obvious in the genre of Drill music…which started in Chicago and is becoming popular all over the United States. Drill music is mostly about rappers that rap about violence that happened to them or that they are going to cause. Artist like Chief Keef, Lil Mouse, lil reese represent different gangs in the south side of Chicago and the radio stations are putting these songs full of violence and threats all day long. In a way the music industry unconsciously are promoting the violence in Chicago.

To be honest with you, I don’t have all the answers but I do have some ideas how we as Moody students and even more as Christians could make a difference. The violence in Chicago is being muted in the news and overlooked. But why? All people are hearing and thinking about the violence is “its another black or Hispanic boy gone, gang related victim” Michael pledger, a catholic priest that is a big activist against the violence in Chicago, said “If white children were being killed in the numbers of brown or black children then we wouldn’t be here sitting talking about violence” X2 We have to speak out for the oppressed and voiceless by bring awareness. Also be willing to listen to other people stories. Guys when we go into our PCM or talk to any youth we have be a father figure in their lives because you could be the only positive father figure they ever see. Ladies be a positive female leaders shows the girls that someone believe in them and that they do something in their lives. Church, we have to get out of four sided building and step into people lives and live life with them and be willing to share the gospel and being transparent about our struggles. Moody students, lets step out of just being in downtown all the times and invest some our free time in west or south side churches or even one kid that would know that somebody believes in them.

prayer of Lament

In my Faith and Learning class, in our small group the professor talked to use about prayer of lamenting and it was interesting and people been asking me what i can pray for, here some of the things that i am facing.

Here is my prayer:

Oh heavenly father,

My life should be falling apart in front of your eyes but instead i have peace in the midst of it. My friend, Marco, has been sentenced to seventy years in jail and it been hard and difficult to be without him because he use to be like a brother to me. Honestly, God i miss my brother. I am also having a difficult time trying to adjust to Moody because people are difficult then i am use to. I just bothers me how its people jusdge you because of your background and of your actions. Students judge me because i sometimes act like a little kid but father you know the reason behind it. You know that it is because i miss being able to have a childhood because i grew up way to quickly to the things i have seen.and i know i am suppose to "act" like an adult but i just don't know what to do because there is a pull in my heart between the two. I hate how people judge me for talking to girls. God you know my heart, i am just being friendly and treating them like sister and i am being careful tho with not trying to play with people hearts but i pray that my friends see it that way. It makes me sad to think about my sister because i miss her. I miss my little sister that i would give everything toward. i miss the late night conversation that i just could say random stuff and knowing that she are listening but i know she is trying to sleep. i miss her trying to wrestle me knowing that she ends up in the ground. i am just missing being able to play a part in life. I know i am not the best brother i could be but please i beg father put somebody in her life that watch over and  give her advice. That if ever dates anybody let the guy go after your own heart father and to look up to you for advice and guidance. It has been frustrating for me to being apart from besenville bible church. i miss my familia because the church has been like a family to me. You know they been watching over me and been a part fro the past four eyes with your guidance. It has been breaking my heart seening so many people suffering in this beautiful hurting city. Just hearing stories of kids getting shot dow, people starving, and people just not even caring. It breaks my heart and you seen my tears that has been shed for this. God please keep feeling your heart cause i know this is hurting you seeing people suffering this way because you never meant this to happen int he first place.I am honestly struggling financially and i got no idea what is going to happen but Father you are the provider. I know that You are the Comforter, in scripture it says that the holy spirit is the comforter and i pray that you let the holy spirit work extra time in me and make me feel your heart, your joy and your sadness and your pain. God i know you will gett me through this hard time because i seen you work in my life in amazing way even when it seemed that i hit rock bottom. I know that you God will take care of my sister and i had over the feeling of  protector over to your hands. i want to say thank you for what you are going to do.i want to pray all these things in Jesus name, Amen

obvious is beautiful

In the moments that we say something so obvious...like your hands are cold or your hands are soft....it's a beautiful moment that we got off our phones and finally being present in the moment. In the moment that two lose their selves in the conversation that they step in each other shoes for a couple moments. The joy that comes that somebody finally listens to us and we could be free to talk about the good in bad in life.

It is obvious we only have limited amount time, that we are all ticking and tocking, walking the fine line between days and weeks as if each second speaks of years and each month has years listening to forever. Knowing that for us we got a day that it could end but personally we live life like we can't die. Some people believe that they are too pretty, too dressed up, too busy, too young to die but death is slowing coming closer every second without your consent. It makes me woundering how am I going to use my perious time? Am I going to waste  time just sleeping in while time is passing by? Am I going to waste time on my phone to accomplish nothing at the end of it? Some of us even including myself that we are so blinded by our phones that the world in front of our lives is falling apart and we cant do anything about it because we wasted time? It makes me really think about whats important in life and is my usage of time really point back to it? Us wasting time is obvious to others but we know that we are throwing away precious time that we could spent with love ones and spending time with God.

February Update Letter

I want to start to say thank you for supporting me for the past couple years and being there every step of the way. I am so thankful for this experience of trying to rise support to go to college because it really showed me how many people are always praying for me and supportive in my walk and actually believe in me that God would do amazing things in my life. The month of January was already an interesting month and a good start for the semester.

Two weeks ago, I had the privilege to be a part of a minority meeting with President Paul Nyquist, the dean of admissions, dean of distant learning, dean of financial aid and three other students to discuss how to bring more minorities into the student body of Moody Bible Institute. The meeting covered the topics of how to recruit minorities, discuss how our experience at Moody was and what we like and what work Moody has to work on, also scholarships for minorities.

I was assigned for Practical Christian Ministry for Moody to work in a 3-hour open gym at Church in West ridge. I have been going there every Friday for the past three weeks and I learned that I am way out of shape to keep on hustling for the ball with inter-city kids. A lot of kids are involved in Gangs and by their flashing gang signs I was able to point out there are around 3 different gangs: Latin kings, cobras and gangster disciples. Can you pray that I would be able to use my testimony to connect with them, build relationships with some of the them and share the gospel to them.

This week I attended my first ever Founder’s week at Moody Bible Institute. We had amazing speakers that talked about Running the Race. All of us had different starting places and run in different paces. A lot of people start the race strong but could take a detour, others stay comfortable in their lives and never took a step of faith. The biggest question is how are you going to finish the race?

There were two main messages that really spoke to me and convicted me. One speaker gave an illustration that I have been thinking about. The illustration that he gave was that while we sin the devil gives us lose rope until it causes the most destruction in our lives and pulls the rope and at that point our lives fall apart. The second speaker talked about lamenting. Overall we (the church) have lost the gift of lamenting through the hard times. A lot of us believe that it’s bad to question what’s going on but our God is bigger than our questions. In Psalm 42 when King David is being mocked by enemies when they ask David “where is your God?” David responded by saying “I don’t know but I will praise Him because I know He is working. (Paraphrased)

Financial Update:

Currently I owe $11,700 in my student loan that I took to come to Moody. I am not worried because God has and will provide for all my needs.  I am applying at a couple places trying to pay back my loan as soon as possible. I am still praying for God to show me if he wants me to work in the warehouse or a summer camp in the summer. Pray for God to show me clearly. If you find it in your heart to donate int his cause then donate to http://www.gofundme.com/j8iu04

Additional prayers:

For God to keep me on working me and teaching about sacrifice by living for Him and not for myself anymore.

To keep on softening my hearts towards my dad and for God to heal the scars that he has made on my heart.

For me to find a job

To help me become that man that God wants me to be instead of what people want me to be.

In the midst of the good and bad times to trust on God and find my peace only through Him

Trusting in God provision

Orlando Blanco

Gang Violence

Today has a been a rough day because i had a to write a speech about Gang violence in Chicago. It reminded me of the pain that i cause in my mother and my sister and my friends when i was in the gang. I had to pray to God to keep me together because there isnt enough sorrys to go around. it destroys my heart to think about how people that are living in the city are so blind to the pain. i write in my speech A lot of students look out the window and look into the city and think that its beautiful. When end up looking outside…I see a city full of pain, regrets, revenge, envy and unjustice. When I talk about Chicago, I don’t talk about the suburb I mean downtown but including  the south and the west side. Where the gang violence has destroyed the lives of brothers, sisters, mother and fathers." where mothers cry when the children leave their house because that may be the last time she will ever see him. Where tears runs like waves runs down the kids cheeks asking "where is daddy?? Am I good enough to have a dad?? where there is no need for best friends cause they could be gone in any second by a bullet. Where the kids are looking up and telling God that i have been living for too long and please take me out of my misery? In this environment, where the fathers are the best at playing hide and go seek but never coming out to play in their child life, where finding a positive male figure is harder to find waldo, where any second  a flying bullet could be scaring your name. The youth aren’t really thinking about the future because they are in the survival mindset and only trying to make it through the day without being six feet deep. A lot of the youth explain it by saying “it’s a war out here and we’re fighting to live.”  

To be honest with you, I don’t have all the answers but I do have some ideas how we as Moody students and even more as Christians could make a difference. The violence in Chicago is being mutted in the news and overlooked. But why? All people are hearing and thinking about the violence is “its another black boy gone, gang related” Michael Pledger, a catholic priest that is a big activist against the violence in Chicago, said “If white children were being killed in the numbers of brown or black children then we wouldn't be here sitting talking about violence” We have to speak out for the oppressed and voiceless by bring awareness. Also be willing to listen to other people stories. Guys when we talk to any youth we have be a father figure in their lives because you could be the only positive father figure they ever see. Ladies be a positive female leaders shows the girls that someone believe in them and that they do something in their lives. Church, we have to get out of four sided building and set into people lives and live life with them and be willing to share the gospel and being transparent about our struggles. Students, lets step out of just being in downtown all the times and invest some our free time in west or south side churches or even one kid that would know that somebody believes in them.

Lets make a difference in Chicago and Lets pray for God to have a revival in this beautiful hurting city.

We Will Never Know When Our Day Could be our Last

Before I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior I was involved with the Latin Kings, a powerful Hispanic gang, for 3 and ½ years in the west side of Chicago specifically Humboldt Park.  During the second year of being involved in the gang, I learned a valuable lesson that I will carry in my heart till I die. I learned that we just don’t know when we will die. At that time in my life, I thought that I finally found a family that I belong in but it took the sacrifice of my emotions, friends, safety, and sanity. I was in the edge of depression from seeing a lot of friends getting killed from drive by and leaving but never coming back. In a regular August day my Marco and I went to play basketball in a local park that had a playground only 10 feet away from the basketball court. I known my friend since I was in seventh grade. He got me involved in the Latin king when I was in eighth grade. Daily, I was with him playing basketball and hanged out every day and talk about what was going on in our lives. One of the things that we had in common was that we both came from a broken family. Both of our fathers were alcoholics and daily getting drunk. We came from families that never wanted to play a part of our lives because our families didn’t know how to deal with destruction that our fathers caused in our families. He was like a brother to me and stood by my side when hard times and goodtimes came.  While I was shooting around with Marco, I saw a little kid around six or seven with brown hair trying to climb up the slide. He was going up and slipped and went all the way down. He kept doing this for five minutes. I felt bad so I told my friend “Hey Hold up, let me help the kid out. Just shoot around for a little.” He replied, “Sounds good but afterwards let’s go out to eat”. So I ran to the little kid and when he saw me walking to him, a big smile appeared on his face. When I walked up to him I asked him, “Can I help you get up the slide?” and without hesitation he jumped up and said “Yes! Please!” I went to pick him up and right when I put him on the top of the slide, I heard three gunshots. Instantly, I grabbed the kid and put him underneath me to try to use myself as a shield for him.  After the shots ceased, I looked back to the basketball court and I saw my friend laying down. I ran to the basketball court and saw that my friend had been shot three times in the chest and blood was everywhere. I picked up his bloody body in my arms and put my hand over the gunshot wounds in his chest. I was yelling with tears running down my face, “Help, help, please, this can’t be happing, somebody help please, please! God save him!! God please! Stay with me, homie! Somebody is coming to help you! I got you! I can’t keep going on life without you, bro. Stay with me, man!” I kept yelling until my voice was gone from hopelessness and not being able to deal with the pain anymore.  Every second I felt his breathing slowing down while my mind became a hurricane, leaving a path of destruction. My mind was playing a movie of the times he had saved me from being shot or getting stabbed. I was bawling, knowing that I wouldn’t have Marco for the rest of my life. The ambulance came in 10 minutes, which felt like a lifetime, and they pronounced him dead on site. In the ambulance, with his lifeless body next to me the only thing that I was thinking about was getting revenge. I was angry at the heartless person that took the only brother I had from me. This event has pushed me over the edge of depression and I struggled for depression for the next two and a half years. We just don’t know if this is our last day, last hour, last minute or last second. I learned the hard way that it only takes one second for somebody’s life to be taken.