Devotional base on Luke 6:27-29

We know how to deal with haters that tend to just pick at every little thing in our lives sometimes just complain about us breathing. What about when it becomes our companion, our homies, that we allowed to be close in our lives, that we trusted with everything in our lives, the secrets of our lives. What happens when they hurt us? When we want to go far away to  escape the pain but we can't. When their negative words are the only thing that we remember at night that could bring us to a point that sometimes we rather are alive.  When we can’t handle it anymore and finally confess in our mind, “I don’t need any more of this stuff because I can’t even love myself.” Then add the pains that our friends cause on us are stays and haunts us in our next relationships. That would be causing us to put walls to not allow us to trust others. Do we want to live life like that?

my youth pastor uses to tell us in youth group that we have to pray for those who hate us. I asked him why??? He said because you can’t hate for those who pray for and ask God to forgive them for what they have done. We saw it before when Jesus was upon the cross, when he said, “lord forgive them what they have done and they don’t know what they are doing.” Do you think honestly that our friends know that they are hurting us until all the cruel words come out and if they do? Does it really matter? We have to forgive them and love them. We can do all by prayer and by prayer alone for God to help us be uncomfortable and bring people in our lives that could help us to take us in uncharted land.  I know this is will deficit, but I know that God will listen to your prayer even when it comes to moments in our lives that all we can basically scream help!!”

Let’s step back and thank about how the world where we as a church can be transparent with each other because we are loving each other. Where somebody has been bullying you, maybe raped you, cause some big big damage in your life enters through those doors because God answered our prayers for them in our lives. Think about this…. Where we can allow our selves and other be open books because we took down that wall that stopped us from trusting other. Where basically we are free to live life without holding back to anybody and even ourselves. We have to forgive those who hurt us.

Luke 6:27-29

But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29"Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either

The Wisdom from a Lyft Driver

The Wisdom from a Lyft Driver

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “A single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years mere study of books.” Except tonight conversation dealt with a Lyft driver that in the midst of a divorce and has two kids three and seven. Her name is Liz, she started to talk about her children and she sacrifices her sleep, her food, her wants of getting $20 dollars shoes (I know mothers can testify to this) for her two little boys. I feel like this forty minute conversation, could’ve given me the spark to keep on fighting.

            The first thing that I am going to take away from her is that life is full of sections. Life sucks a lot but we have to enjoy the seasons of life we are in because we will have this precious time back. She said, “That too many youths are trying to grow so quickly that in a couple years, these youth will end up regretting wasting those years.” She pointed to me and said, “please enjoy your youth, I heard about the struggles you faced with your parents and life overall but don’t let that destroy your young adult life. I know, you want to be a youth pastor in the city but enjoy your time in school and this period of life. Also, don’t lose that smile and laugh because the older you get, life smacks you right in the face and with that your smile and laugh is gone.” I really needed to hear that because lately I feel like my smile, laugh, playful, enjoying life personality has been slowly disappearing because of things I saw and see in the street, the systems, basically life knocking me down and not wanting to get up.

            The second thing advice. she told me is that you can have the whole world behind you believing in you but the way things in life will change is when you finally believe in yourself. Like I was saying, that a lot of our dreams can be like becoming the president, police officer, pastor, best janitor, best parent, and whatever you want to add to the list. The only way to accomplish our dreams when we are surrounded by horrible circumstances is by believing in ourselves. So she told me, “I believe that you can become an amazing youth pastor, the only way you could do this is by believing in God and believing in yourself. Also know that you could be an amazing father like you want to be by being a positive father figure to the kids now and already learning to sacrifice.” I feel like I been lacking in school but not too much is because I let the problems in Chicago get in the way of me believing in myself and God that I could make a difference in a hurting Chicago.

The third and most important thing about the conversation, she said, “By hearing you talk about your vision and about how God has changed your life. I am going to go to a Christian church.” This made me super happy that God answered my prayer for being able to use my mouth to speak to others. When I was having a conversation with her, honestly it wasn’t my word but instead it was His words and Him keeping the conversation going. She said, “She will expect to see me at New Life Humboldt Park in two weeks.  Please pray that God will speak to her and use this conversation for his glory.

I felt like learn 10 years of life lessons in a 40 minute car ride.

Gang Violence

Today has a been a rough day because i had a to write a speech about Gang violence in Chicago. It reminded me of the pain that i cause in my mother and my sister and my friends when i was in the gang. I had to pray to God to keep me together because there isnt enough sorrys to go around. it destroys my heart to think about how people that are living in the city are so blind to the pain. i write in my speech A lot of students look out the window and look into the city and think that its beautiful. When end up looking outside…I see a city full of pain, regrets, revenge, envy and unjustice. When I talk about Chicago, I don’t talk about the suburb I mean downtown but including  the south and the west side. Where the gang violence has destroyed the lives of brothers, sisters, mother and fathers." where mothers cry when the children leave their house because that may be the last time she will ever see him. Where tears runs like waves runs down the kids cheeks asking "where is daddy?? Am I good enough to have a dad?? where there is no need for best friends cause they could be gone in any second by a bullet. Where the kids are looking up and telling God that i have been living for too long and please take me out of my misery? In this environment, where the fathers are the best at playing hide and go seek but never coming out to play in their child life, where finding a positive male figure is harder to find waldo, where any second  a flying bullet could be scaring your name. The youth aren’t really thinking about the future because they are in the survival mindset and only trying to make it through the day without being six feet deep. A lot of the youth explain it by saying “it’s a war out here and we’re fighting to live.”  

To be honest with you, I don’t have all the answers but I do have some ideas how we as Moody students and even more as Christians could make a difference. The violence in Chicago is being mutted in the news and overlooked. But why? All people are hearing and thinking about the violence is “its another black boy gone, gang related” Michael Pledger, a catholic priest that is a big activist against the violence in Chicago, said “If white children were being killed in the numbers of brown or black children then we wouldn't be here sitting talking about violence” We have to speak out for the oppressed and voiceless by bring awareness. Also be willing to listen to other people stories. Guys when we talk to any youth we have be a father figure in their lives because you could be the only positive father figure they ever see. Ladies be a positive female leaders shows the girls that someone believe in them and that they do something in their lives. Church, we have to get out of four sided building and set into people lives and live life with them and be willing to share the gospel and being transparent about our struggles. Students, lets step out of just being in downtown all the times and invest some our free time in west or south side churches or even one kid that would know that somebody believes in them.

Lets make a difference in Chicago and Lets pray for God to have a revival in this beautiful hurting city.

Transparent and beauty

I am at a retreat for college students to go start Christian clubs in Chicago.  It has called me that we as Christians have to be transparent. Being honest about the pain and struggles. Reflecting on my self I am still feeling a lot of pain from the past and have my daily struggles but God has made my life bearable and being content on where I am in life. In the sense of struggles he has comforted me. I am not saying if you become a Christian that your life is going to be way better but you will have a personal relayionship with God that will be there every step of the way. I have been hearing girls testimony and struggles with self confidence.  Let me tell you.. you are beautiful the way you are. God views you as his precious daughter and wanting a relationship with you every day. Been catching every tear you dropped. It has been breaking his heart when guys are messing with you hearts.  He is saying to you I LOVE YOU.

Stuggles

Since Thursday I have been hurting..my friend  committed suicide. .. it has really made me reflect if what I am doing is what God wants me to do. I spent a couple night and talking to God. A lot of my friends asked me for advice nd help them with the pain.. But honestly I am hurting, spilled a lot of tears and makes me choke up while talking about it.. The only reason that been getting me through it is crying out to God and laying everything forward and feel in my heart that he is saying that he got it undercontrol.  This whole expense made me think about depression. I dealth with it for two years and it was horrible and asking God every day to let not let fall back into depression. This is the intro..... Depression is like a elephant on your chest that you have to face everyday but the crazy part it is also the elephant in the room that nobody want to talk about. Daily looking up at the sky seeming like heaven is so far away. Making hope shrink by the hour. In the meantime I am looking like Ronald McDonald on the outside but inside I am dying. In a room full of people, feeling alone. I am afraid of being alone with own thoughts and it's so bad that I can't even look at a mirror cause I think to myself ...am I good enough to be loved ....like really...If my parents don't love me..then why would you even spent a second with Me. Is my best be good enough angways? Every night wishing that i dont wake up in the morning. But that wish has never been answered.Every day i wake up in a state of morning because my pride lies to people that ask me "are you okay?" My pride response by saying I'm alright...I'm okay....I'm all good really..While my heart is screaming for help. The Air keeps seeking into my lungs...even though I do not want to breath..again depression is a personal cancer that I can't get rid of.  When i am finally worn asking for help People be telling me to pray more and read the bible more but bro this is the harderI ever prayed in my life and most I ever read the bible but I am still dieing inside. I struggle with this for 3 years and lost 10 friends in the past couple years from depression. Worst of all I just lost a homeboy last Thursday that committed suicide while dealing depression. His words screaming for help but people just stood there and liked his statues. It only takes one person to chance somebody life. If anybody of you feel this way..I am always here to listen.

If you have any questions or prayers or anything message me please.

Why am i doing this?

I am probably not the most intersting, not the smartest, not stand out but i want to be a man of God that would be valunerable and share my struggles and deepest thought. The reason is that somebody out there may be facing the same thing but scared to share it. I know that people may use these thing against me but i dont not care. its all worth it if it speaks to only one person. I feel like God has been convicting me and working on me to be transparent even to a point that it hurts. It may seem weird that a guy would be sharing their emotion and their struggles but there is too many christians that put on a mask like everything is okay...if it is that its all good...i rather be a christian that can relate to others and be upfront. I am praying that God uses me to speak to you... i would love to receive any messages of any comments or someone to talk to cause im here...

Doing this out of Love
-Orlando