Devotional base on Luke 6:27-29

We know how to deal with haters that tend to just pick at every little thing in our lives sometimes just complain about us breathing. What about when it becomes our companion, our homies, that we allowed to be close in our lives, that we trusted with everything in our lives, the secrets of our lives. What happens when they hurt us? When we want to go far away to  escape the pain but we can't. When their negative words are the only thing that we remember at night that could bring us to a point that sometimes we rather are alive.  When we can’t handle it anymore and finally confess in our mind, “I don’t need any more of this stuff because I can’t even love myself.” Then add the pains that our friends cause on us are stays and haunts us in our next relationships. That would be causing us to put walls to not allow us to trust others. Do we want to live life like that?

my youth pastor uses to tell us in youth group that we have to pray for those who hate us. I asked him why??? He said because you can’t hate for those who pray for and ask God to forgive them for what they have done. We saw it before when Jesus was upon the cross, when he said, “lord forgive them what they have done and they don’t know what they are doing.” Do you think honestly that our friends know that they are hurting us until all the cruel words come out and if they do? Does it really matter? We have to forgive them and love them. We can do all by prayer and by prayer alone for God to help us be uncomfortable and bring people in our lives that could help us to take us in uncharted land.  I know this is will deficit, but I know that God will listen to your prayer even when it comes to moments in our lives that all we can basically scream help!!”

Let’s step back and thank about how the world where we as a church can be transparent with each other because we are loving each other. Where somebody has been bullying you, maybe raped you, cause some big big damage in your life enters through those doors because God answered our prayers for them in our lives. Think about this…. Where we can allow our selves and other be open books because we took down that wall that stopped us from trusting other. Where basically we are free to live life without holding back to anybody and even ourselves. We have to forgive those who hurt us.

Luke 6:27-29

But I say to you who hear, love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29"Whoever hits you on the cheek, offer him the other also; and whoever takes away your coat, do not withhold your shirt from him either

I'm just going to wear my emotions as my sleeves

There comes a day when our lives fall apart that starts with a phone call. I feel like i am in a car full of emotions that jumped off a cliff that is heading to rock bottom . Barely surviving cause momentum hasn't yet over token gravity. At this moment, in the failing car I am in a prison of fear, scared of getting more hurt. Last tuesday i feel like i been shot with a shotgun in the heart that open those countless open wounds that bleed for the last couple years. Any second now, i could become heartless from the lack of blood and love. That I feel like I gotta put on this mask cause I could bearly hold a smile for a second. But only if, people paused and look in my eyes, they would see that my soul is grieving from everything that's going on. They would see stains of tears that has been flooding my pillow at night. In this prisión cell, I gotta deal with myself. In the past couple days, I don't even know myself. I feel my heart hardening and turn callused of this ever lasting cycle of pain. It's killing me inside, that I am seeing this creeping up on me. Im constantly fighting against this depression from coming back, to be honest it's creeping. Depression has turned my familia to a cemetery full of my former homies. Im done feeling this way.God I'm calling out for you, hold me with your arms full out of love. Be that refuge that has always been there every day since I dyed to myself. Please I beg hear the cries for the desperation of a suffering and broken servant and son. Please catch this falling car before I hit rock bottom. Lord, If you dont, I hope I wake up seeing your arms wide open . Where I won't feel no more pain, tears, morning but rather be in your presence.

My Speech on Technology

            Albert Einstein said, “I fear the day that technology will surpass our human interaction. The world will have a generation of idiots.” First, I believe that technology has reduced the possibility of being present in the moment. Secondly, we have allowed technology to take away the ability to feel like a human. Thirdly, the fear of self relfection and control opens the door  for technology to take over our lives.   Lastly, we can do practical things to solve this issue.

            Are we ever present? We are in a tug of war with time. Currently, right now are you thinking about the mistakes that you have made? A former conversation? At the same time, are you thinking about your next class? About lunch? So are we ever present at this moment? A spoken word artist, Propaganda, in his spoken word piece called, Be Present, said, “He told me a love story of a woman born before him. He said I knew her before and at the moment of conception. There was an eternal connection. And although I didn't know it then, I'd fight for her affection. It’s this war we’ve been waging since day one of creation. And only when you lose her do you learn to appreciate her, like even when I’m with her, I’m itching to get rid of her. And she only gives you one shot, blow it and she's gone. ” Life is all about moments, no one In history has been able to hold on to one. And you never get it back…see…there it goes. It’s silly for us to think that we can capture a moment with our phones while that moment is slowly disappearing. Even worse, too many of us are so busy looking down at our phones that we are missing our moment. We are missing the beauty of the awkward moments of silence in the middle of a conversation. At that moment, we start thinking of past conversations, the silly moments in our lives, or obvious comments.

            Prince EA, another respected spoken word artist, said, “While we may have big friend lists, so many of us are friendless. All alone. Cause friendships are more broken than the screens on our very phones. We sit at home on our computer screens measuring self-worth by numbers of followers and likes while ignoring those who actually loves us.” Slowly, we are closing the doors to our hearts. We go into this world of technology, to escape the heart from reality. We would rather send a message on Facebook or through text to escape any conversation face to face. Sometimes I question, “Have we forgot how it feels to have eye contact with a loved one?” We are losing a sense to coexist but rather advertise, I mean, Instigram, ourselves to people who like our selfies or whatever we are doing. For example, how many people pull out their phones when they see a homeless person? Isn’t that a battle cry that we lost our fight to keep our humanity!

            Sherry Turkle, a sociologist said, “Across the generation, I see that people can’t get enough of each other if and only if they can have each other at a distance in amounts they can control.” She called it the Goldie lock effect, not too close, not too far, just right.” Technology has reached a point that it is eliminating our ability to have a conversation with a person. One of my friends back home told me, “Someday, someday but certainly not now, I would like to learn how to have a conversation. Conversation with others effects how we conversation with ourselves. Has technology effected your ability to self-reflect” that’s on you to figure out.

            Is life all about a box made of plastic, wires and glass? If somebody looked into our lives, they would see that our phones could be the most important thing in our lives. While 84 percent of cell phone owners could not go a single day without using their phones.  In the midst of checking our phones 150 times a day, having hundreds and hundreds of Facebook friends and still feel like there is no one to rely on, no one who knows who you really are. It’s sad that 40 percent of Americans feel lonely in this type of way. I think that we need to leave the phones and go out and talk to people. Finally, to remember what it means to be with somebody face to face. To discover what it means to cherish the people who are here. To restart our creativity, to make up silly games with our imagination and hear the precious laugh of a child.

What does Cesar Chavez have to do with Chicago?

Robert Kennedy said, “Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total; of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.” Honestly speaking, I noticed that I don’t give history the importance that I should in my life. History has shaped my life, my family life with the pains of injustices, the sadness of tragedies, the hope from achievements and beauty of people lives. Today, I watched a movie that represent Cesar Chavez life, when he fought for the rights from farmworkers.  While I was watching the movie, I was looking up the quotes that he said. There is a couple quotes that encouraged me to how keep on pushing on with my dream of a revival in Chicago, where the church is ran by ex-gang members and ex-convicts, whose lives were transformed by Christ. Seeing the whites and hispanics and blacks come together. I know that it is not possible for a person to make this possible. I know that God would need to push the revival forward if it’s His will. As Robert Kennedy talks all the little events, all the people changing the community around them, that could change the outcome of the current generation and even more the future generations that are to come.

Cesar Chavez said, “It is possible to become discouraged about the injustice we see everywhere. But God did not promise us that the world would be humane and just. He gives us the gift of life and allows us to choose the way we will use our limited time on earth. It is an awesome opportunity.” In my daily frustration of kids dreams crushed before they are teenagers, where the systems are against the minorities, youths thinking that they have to go in the streets to survive, seeing moms weeping over losing their little babies due to gang violence, and people just standing there because they don’t think that they can make a difference. I end up screaming on top of my lungs THIS ISNT FAR!! WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO BE THIS WAY? I need to step back and ask myself why I am surprised? When in John 16:33 it says, “I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” It is warning me that life will honestly suck sometimes. When we see things go through our lives and things that put us down but I have to trust on him but the beautiful thing is that we are still living meaning, we still got precious time to change the world around us. We all have time to impact the kids lives and actually believe in them. We can stand up for the oppress. The most beautiful thing is that we have time to open our hands and allow God to take over our lives and see where he takes us even though it would be hard. (fair warning)

Cesar Chavez said, “The fight is never about grapes or lettuce. It is always about people.” I know you are asking yourself what does lettuce and grapes have to do with Chicago? We can’t even grow them here. In Chicago, we see people always having people having a rally against gang violence, having equal education for everybody, social justice, immigration reformation. We easily like putting stereotype on people for who fight for those things. To be honest, we aren’t only fighting for these things but it’s about the people who are facing these struggles. We are shoulder to shoulder with the mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, nephews, and friend being in one big familia picking each other up when we fall, giving our shoulder when somebody loses a love one but importantly we are here for the people. As he continued, "We can choose to use our lives for others to bring about a better and more just world for our children. People who make that choice will know hardship and sacrifice. But if you give yourself totally to the non-violence struggle for peace and justice you also find that people give you their hearts and you will never go hungry and never be alone. And in giving of yourself you will discover a whole new life full of meaning and love."

Cesar Chavez and Dolorez Huerta, came up with “Sí, se puede” during Cesar 25 day fast to protest the violence being used against the striking farmworkers and to draw attention to their struggle. It’s a reminder, as a body of Christ we can bring a revival in Chicago only through Christ. We as a body of Christ, we can believe in these kids and help them fight in the challenges that they face in their lives and knowing that they aren’t alone. As a body of Christ, we can become a voice for the oppressed and voiceless.  Yes as a body of Christ, we can make a difference in the streets that instead of kids join the gangs looking for a family. Instead, they can join our familia that would unconditionally love them.

There is no better ending than, “SI SE PUEDE.

The Wisdom from a Lyft Driver

The Wisdom from a Lyft Driver

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow said, “A single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years mere study of books.” Except tonight conversation dealt with a Lyft driver that in the midst of a divorce and has two kids three and seven. Her name is Liz, she started to talk about her children and she sacrifices her sleep, her food, her wants of getting $20 dollars shoes (I know mothers can testify to this) for her two little boys. I feel like this forty minute conversation, could’ve given me the spark to keep on fighting.

            The first thing that I am going to take away from her is that life is full of sections. Life sucks a lot but we have to enjoy the seasons of life we are in because we will have this precious time back. She said, “That too many youths are trying to grow so quickly that in a couple years, these youth will end up regretting wasting those years.” She pointed to me and said, “please enjoy your youth, I heard about the struggles you faced with your parents and life overall but don’t let that destroy your young adult life. I know, you want to be a youth pastor in the city but enjoy your time in school and this period of life. Also, don’t lose that smile and laugh because the older you get, life smacks you right in the face and with that your smile and laugh is gone.” I really needed to hear that because lately I feel like my smile, laugh, playful, enjoying life personality has been slowly disappearing because of things I saw and see in the street, the systems, basically life knocking me down and not wanting to get up.

            The second thing advice. she told me is that you can have the whole world behind you believing in you but the way things in life will change is when you finally believe in yourself. Like I was saying, that a lot of our dreams can be like becoming the president, police officer, pastor, best janitor, best parent, and whatever you want to add to the list. The only way to accomplish our dreams when we are surrounded by horrible circumstances is by believing in ourselves. So she told me, “I believe that you can become an amazing youth pastor, the only way you could do this is by believing in God and believing in yourself. Also know that you could be an amazing father like you want to be by being a positive father figure to the kids now and already learning to sacrifice.” I feel like I been lacking in school but not too much is because I let the problems in Chicago get in the way of me believing in myself and God that I could make a difference in a hurting Chicago.

The third and most important thing about the conversation, she said, “By hearing you talk about your vision and about how God has changed your life. I am going to go to a Christian church.” This made me super happy that God answered my prayer for being able to use my mouth to speak to others. When I was having a conversation with her, honestly it wasn’t my word but instead it was His words and Him keeping the conversation going. She said, “She will expect to see me at New Life Humboldt Park in two weeks.  Please pray that God will speak to her and use this conversation for his glory.

I felt like learn 10 years of life lessons in a 40 minute car ride.

My Crushed Dreams But Not Abandoned

All of us harvest this…it comes in all shapes and forms but at the same time its unseen. We all have this ability to be freed to thrive in our dreams or to kill our dreams. It’s crazy to think about, when we were little, we dream to become an astronaut that would go to different planets, a scientist, a vet, a 3 foot tall NBA player, and if we were honest some were to take over the world. Then the older we got it seems like reality hits home and we conform to barely making it by. At the same time, we say that we want to follow our dreams but we don’t want it bad. We kind of just want it. You don’t want it as much as partying, not as much as being cool and not as much as sleep. Some of us love sleep as much as our dreams. As my youth pastor told me, “Life is all about sacrificing.” Still living through life, we see flashbacks of our dreams, which we had when we were younger, but we are not willing to risk because we believe that it’s too late for me, I got kids, I got debt, it’s hard and it’s going to hurt. When it seems like we take a step forward, we get punched right in face. We all get knocked out and the main question is “What are you going to do? Are you going to stay down or get up and keep swinging like our lives are in stake?

To be honest with you, I got punched in my heart multiple times by reality that crushed my dreams. My dreams is that there will be a revival in Chicago, seeing the church ran by ex-gang members and ex-convicts transformed by Christ. Seeing the white and Hispanic and black come together. I knew this dream is going to hurt and almost impossible and wear me out. It has been a wakeup call seeing the systems from society that keep minorities down. The church is not working together in Chicago to communicate and work with each other. It is sad to see that the black, Asian, Hispanic and white church just can’t get along. Bruhh…we are all familia…it just got my heart breaking. I talked to several pastor in the south side and west side and the response I got is that in their career in ministry the churches in the  white north side has made no effort to communicate to the churches in the minority south and west side. It keeps me up in night that some churches are willing to sacrifice outreaches because they are scared of the city kids. I was involved in the Latin kings four years ago, my home church is the only reason that I am still a Christian and go to Moody Bible Institute because my church was my familia. They helped me through the horrible times and actually believe in me. When we are closing our doors to these kids then we are not believe in God power that can transformation city kids into revival leaders. To be honest, I think that I am living in fear of the challenge. I see myself as David but without a slingshot but basically laying down and waving my white flag in surrender. In the Fable of the lion and the gazelle, “Every morning in Africa, a gazelle wakes up, it knows it must outrun the fastest lion or it will be killed. Every morning in Africa, a lion wakes up. It knows it must run faster than the slowest gazelle, or it will starve. It doesn't matter whether you're the lion or a gazelle-when the sun comes up, you'd better be running.” At the current state, I am the gazelle running away from the Lion (doubt, fear, pain). I need something that would cause me to become the Lion that runs towards my dreams. I need to be the Lion that needs to be hungry towards God dreams, which he put in my heart, and keep running and not being content for anything less. I want to be hungry not for my selfishness rather for the gang members, prostitutes, current youth and the future youth.

March Update Letter

Life update:

I want to start to say thank you for supporting me for the past couple years and being there every step of the way in the midst of the messiness. I am so thankful for this experience of trying to raise support to go to college because it opened my eyes to how many people are always praying for me and supportive in my walk and actually believe in me, that God would do amazing things in my life. This month has been amazing because I been allowing God do whatever you wants in my life with hands wide open.

I had the privilege of hearing people stories and life struggles. It has open my eyes to see people struggles and strength and understand where they are coming from. I been able to hear the stories from the other students in this school and a lot of the youth that are involved in the open gym that I run with some of the guys from school.

It has been difficult for me to settle down and focus on my studies. While at the same time, I want to walk life with the guys in the open gym. A lot of the guys come from the same background. They come from broken homes, where their dad doesn’t play a role in their life, never had somebody in their lives to point them to the right direction and invest love in them. It reminds me, that I was in the same shoes less than 4 years ago until I accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior and the church became family to me.

In my class for Race, Poverty and Social injustice has thought me to much how to deal with the current struggles that minorities face in a daily process like racial comments, being intimating by skin color (I don’t understand), being a minority in a school that is mostly white.

In that class, today I meet a guy named Juan Prez, the founder that created a ministry that focuses on taking people out of poverty and make sure they never return to that state. I was able to have dinner with him and he offered me a 9 week internship that would give me $1,500 and would cover cost expenses and food. I told him to sent me more information and to give some time to pray about the opportunity.

Finical update:

Currently, I owe $11,354 in my student loan that I took to come to Moody. I am not worried because God has and will provide for all my needs.  I am applying at a couple places trying to pay back my loan as soon as possible. During spring break, I will be working as a delivery driver and try to pick up some jobs here and there. Also applying at other jobs.

Prayer request::

For God to keep me on working me and teaching about sacrifice by living for him and not for myself anymore.

To keep on softening my hearts towards my dad and for God to heal the scars that he has made on my heart.

For me to find a Job

To help me become that man that God wants me to be instead of what people want me to be.

In the midst of the good and bad times to trust on God and find my peace only through him

Mary-she has some health issues that God would heal her and feeling like He is comforting her.

For what God wants me to do in life

For God to keep developing relationships with people that are same and different from me

Daily Blog:

http://honestlyithappenstoallofus.blogspot.com/

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